What the fuck was today about? I mean, really..?
So fuct.
I just feel like complete shit, like my insides are poison destroying me from the inside out. And the world, it’s not really against me.. but it straight doesn’t give a fuck.
Goddamnitalltohell.
I think I’ve fucked myself in all aspects of my life recently.. I know I can and will make it better, but shit.. what the fuck was I thinking?
I miss you. I miss your smile and your love and your laugh and your hands and your snoring and your skin and your hugs and your cooking and your advice and your hair and our adventures and your driving and your yelling “JANELLE!!!!!” and our banter and climbing into bed with you and your eyes and your smell and your beauty and your glow and your completing me and your everything.
I’m slightly annoyed that I have this and I use it but I’ve made every post private thus far.. I mean they are private, I don’t want anyone seeing them, but I feel like it’s a waste.
Today is so damn hot, but hopefully not as hot as yesterday was. Today is just not a good day. I woke up at 9:45am to a voicemail from my boss telling me to take the openning shift (which means being here at 10:00am!) so I ran down here with out taking a shower or anything. I feel fucking disgusting.
So, I’m sitting here feeling nasty and I realize how much I truely hate Nicholas Valance McElwain. What a fucking worthless piece of shit he is. I hate him. I hate this situation. I hate being in this situation with him. I just fucking hate. I always had these ideas of what my life would be like when I would experience this for the first time and let me tell you, none of those ideas were anything like what this is turning out to be.
I love me some Bagelfuls!
